I believe life is a journey that is rooted in reaching for our divine destiny. As we grow, develop, and move through life we encounter the human experience. The human experience is the vehicle with which we navigate life. I believe we are whole and capable beings with an innate desire to reach for our divine destiny. Every human is uniquely designed and equipped with internal resources to navigate the ups, downs, twists, and turns of the human experience. I believe everyone can access the resources held within yet may not have conscious awareness of their presence. Limiting beliefs, distorted perceptions, insecurities, or unhealed wounds may block awareness and ability to fully access the powerful resources within.

As we navigate our own human experience, strategies are formed and choices are made, some within our awareness and some outside of our awareness. Our choices and strategies may navigate us directly toward our divine destiny or may create an alternative more indirect route. We may encounter pain that creates a detour, loss that destroys a path, disappointment that places an obstacle, harsh criticism that creates uncertainty, compassion that brings clarity, connection that removes a barrier, love that creates energy for repair, healing that shines a light, or awareness that gives direction. We may look around and rely on input from the outside, we may trust the resources we hold within, and we may do both at different points of the journey.

The journey toward my divine destiny thus far has certainly been impacted by my human experience. Awareness of my own inner resources has been blocked by unhealed wounds and limiting beliefs. Strategies were formed to serve as navigation tools and cushion the ride. Choices were made that created detours. Perception was distorted by energy and input from the outside creating a heavy human experience rooted in survival. I was fatigued, stuck in the ruts, and unable to see a way out.

I began to allow exploration of the uncharted territory within me. As I uncovered and became aware of the powerful resources within myself, I embraced healing, growth, and wellness. My human experience has become lighter. I seek awareness of all the parts of me and embrace every part of my own human experience. I am human, now navigating the human experience from within.

Though there are many early memories filled with connection, joy, love, laughter, and wonderful horse adventures with family and friends, the memories that stand out and fuel my passion for making a difference in the lives of others are the painful ones. I experienced the reality of living in a family of origin that faced generational alcoholism, domestic violence, abuse, and neglect. At a young age, my strategies formed, and I took it upon myself to step in to a caretaker role. I sought refuge and comfort in my horses and dogs and allowed their love, safety, and spirit to hold me up and push me forward. I created safety and value for myself by doing for others, pleasing others, keeping the peace, and achieving excellence. My self-worth was tied to what I believed others thought of me, my actions, my achievements, and my ability to hold it all together for the good of others. This was life, my life, and I lived it with determination, adventure, joy, and creativity. My desire to use my own human experience to make a difference and help create a world that children and families did not have to heal and recover from led to a career in Social Work. For over 20 years, I have had the privilege of serving our most vulnerable populations as a social worker in the health and human service field.

Though I found purpose and joy in my role as a Social Worker, doing what was needed to create safety and stability for others, I did so from a place of survival. I excelled in my role, and my human experience gave me a unique ability to relate to other’s pain with deep compassion. I carried survival strategies, limiting beliefs, and the effects of unhealed wounds with me as I worked, placing unreasonable pressure on myself. This pressure was compounded by the inherent pressures, demands, and responsibility of a career in Social Work. I worked hard, putting in countless hours, and still felt like I was not doing enough. I became overwhelmed and exhausted by the demands and confinements of the system. I became hardened and detached, finding it difficult to have compassion for others while simultaneously feeling intense emotional reactions to the pain of others. I was unable to set limits or engage in “self-care’ without guilt. I resorted to destructive behaviors and tried to run from the discomfort. I had little awareness of the turmoil that was happening inside of me. I had NO awareness that I was experiencing severe burnout.

 I sought refuge in my horses and had moments of joy and renewed energy when I was spending time with the horses and expanding my horsemanship skills. I developed a youth horsemanship program and created opportunities for youth to experience the same comfort, safety, and joy in horses that I had felt as a child. I found purpose and joy in my role as a youth horsemanship trainer, and I excelled, yet I was still operating from a place of survival. I was still carrying survival strategies, limiting beliefs, and the effects of unhealed wounds with me as I worked. I felt like I was stuck in a never-ending circle and replaying the same human experiences over and over. I was exhausted and struggled to find a way forward.

 I was introduced to the powerful healing modality that is the Equine Gestalt Coaching Method ® and began to work with a dynamic Gestalt coach and her equine coaching partners. I experienced compassion, human connection, and reflections of Equus that allowed for a path of self-awareness to form.

For years, I had honed my skills of observation and was very aware of how other’s experienced life. Turning those skills of observation inward and becoming aware of how I experienced life was scary, exciting, challenging, empowering, and the most incredible thing I have encountered. I found freedom, freedom to choose my way forward, freedom to choose what I carry with me and what I leave behind. As I became aware of my body, my emotions, my reactions, my strategies, and my choices, I found compassion for my human experience. With self-awareness and self-compassion came healing.

As I heal, the effects of unhealed wounds are released, and my beliefs are expanded. I now believe with certainty that I was gifted with the temperament and innate ability to adapt and inspire growth. I now believe I am whole, capable, and fully equipped to navigate the twists and turns of my human experience. As I continue to reach for awareness, compassion, and healing within myself, more of the resources I hold within will be revealed. As I embrace all the parts of me and the freedom of choice, I move beyond a human experience of survival into a human experience of growth and wellness and continue life’s journey toward my divine destiny.